I spent the day with my friend Lilli and her two little ones. Her three year old Grace did not eat her lunch. Lilli told her that if she chose not to eat her lunch she would not be able to eat any snacks until dinner.
A couple of hours later we decided to take the kids to Arctic Circle to have ice cream and play. In the craziness of the afternoon, Lilli (and I) forgot about the promised lunch consequence. After ordering our treats, Lilli remembered. Instead of going back on her word, she chose the hard road of calmly and kindly telling Grace that she could play on the equipment, but she couldn't have any icecream because she chose not to eat her lunch. Grace wailed and cried. She even exclaimed through tears, "I just can't believe it!" Lilli persevered through the embarrasing display. The kind employees at Arctic Circle even came into the play area twice to offer courtesy cones in hopes to help calm Grace. After a few minutes, she resumed playing. This was a small victory in teaching Grace that our choices carry consequences. When we make a choice, we had better make sure we want what comes with it.
I admire parents who choose to be conisitent and do what they say they are going to do. This builds trust and enstills a sense of security in children. Children who can trust that their parents words and behavior will match feel safe. How wonderful to learn important life lessons when you are three years old in Arctic Circle rather than when you are an adult, and there is much more at stake.
9 comments:
i agree. and if ever there is a good example of a very good and wise mama it would be lily. i really look up to her and admire her parenting style. what a good lesson to be learned.
No kidding. I know so many parents who make excuses for their kids and never make them face the consequences. I wish they understood that they are just making it harder for their kids in the future!
Oh, that is such a hard lesson to teach. Julia doesn't like to eat, so we have that battle often. Its really hard to stick to. Funny though, we did the same thing last night. Julia wouldn't eat dinner, Liam did. He got icecream while Julia cried in her room. Tough lessons. I'm so thankful that Liam so far is a good listener. he eats well, goes to bed well, picks up his toys well. He just says, O.k., Mommy. I love hearing, "o.k. Mommy" instead of "NO! GO TO YOUR ROOM!" She also retaliates with "I SAID NO!" whenever I say, "I said, Yes!"
Oh, I really wish I would have caught her wailing and "I just can't believe it" on camera, it would make any heart break! But just so you all know, guess who came home and ate ALL her lunch...that would be Grace! I suppose she won't ever forget that lesson!
i just wish it weren't so hard to be consistant! i'm pretty good at home but i can't say that i always hold me gound in public! i always hate making a scene but like you said it really is important! thanks for the reminder...i'm reinspired! (btw you write so beautifully!)
So true, it is hard to teach a lesson while making it a public matter. It's worth it though, in the long run. Great post!
Amen. I may not do everything right as a parent but I have felt strongly about this. Brady knows his limits but he understands them too. He knows the consequences that follow and he's smart enough to judge for himself whether its worth pushing the envelope or not. He's 2 1/2. It's totally possible.
So inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
I love you Lisa! Posts like this make me remember why we always connected so well...you usually were just more bold about saying what we both feel strongly about!:)
You look gorgeous! And Logan looks pretty cute too.
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