Love and Logic by Jim Faye

Have you read this book before?  The version for teachers was one of my favorites when I was in the classroom.  I'm now reading the early childhood book as a mom.  The principles taught are so helpful.  My reading came just in time for some of the "negotiations" (i.e. tantrums) Logan likes to put forth.

Here are a few principles from this week's reading:

1.  Even though children don't act like they want boundaries and limits, they do.  Boundaries and limits make children feel safe.

2.  Give children lots of choices about little things that you don't care about.  When they are sharing in the decision making on the little things, it helps them be willing to comply on the big things.  Below are a few of the choices Logan has been making.  I have been giving him dozens of choices each day.  Even though if feels silly to me, he loves it.

-Would you like to read one story before bed, or two?

-Would you like to wear your basketball shirt or your dinosaur shirt?

-Do you want to get out of the bath right now, or in 5 minutes?

-Do you want to eat apples or cantaloupe  with your lunch?

3.  Show empathy.  When they make a bad choice and get a consequence, let them know that it is a sad thing.  No need to get angry (sometimes very difficult).  Each time I have administered a consequence this week I give him a hug and say, "This is so sad."  The authors suggest using the same phrase each time a consequence is administered.

4.  Let consequences teach, not words.  If they are making a mess with their food, take the food.  If they hit someone with a toy, take the toy.  If they are climbing up the stairs when they have been asked not to, move them to a place where they can't go up the stairs.  Consequences are more effective than reminders, scolding, and lectures.

More to come...