Forgetting Something?

It has been snowing all day. By 3:00 pm, Logan was tired of being in the house.  He got himself ready to go out.  Can you tell?

Angels

Angels bore the news of Christ's birth to the shepherds in Bethlehem.  They still bear glad tidings today.  I don't think angels only reside in heaven.  I happen to know a few.  

If the angel who left an anonymous gift for me on my porch today reads this blog, thank you. Logan asked me if I was sad when I saw the gift, because I started to cry.  I told him that sometimes we cry when we feel happy.

Today I said a prayer that I can be an angel for someone else this Christmas.

Thanksgiving Weekend Pics (we did eat, even though there is no proof in the pics)

Logan getting congratulated by his cousin after scoring his first touchdown.

Digging.  

Hiking.  This spot was a bit precarious with a two-year old.  I caved to the peer pressure of my cool uncles though and took Logan up this narrow steep passage.  Luckily, we didn't fall to our deaths.

Huddle.

More football.

If Your Baby

ever climbs up into a very high cupboard, using his high chair as a ladder; so he can eat a bottle of these,

you can call poison control.  

Their number is 1-800-222-1222.  They are wonderful.  They will tell you that lots of iron isn't good for babies, and it can make their tummies bleed.  They will keep calling you for several days to check up on your little one. 

Luckily, the smart folks who made these very tasty dino vitamins knew that they better keep the total iron content low enough that it wouldn't kill babies who ate the whole bottle.  It would just make them a little bit sick.

Meet the Newest Member of our Family

Notice his fancy, dangley, carefully-crafted earring.  Compliments to my sister-in-law for that special touch.

Does anyone have name suggestions?

Yesterday Morning Logan's Cousin Came Over to Play

We missed a really darling picture of them both pretending to be asleep in Logan's bed.  George cooperated when we asked them to re-stage the cute scene.  Logan didn't.

This Morning...

Logan: "Mom, is George coming over today?"

Mom: "No, not today."

Logan: "Oh, crap."

Play Kitchen

Sometimes Logan pretends to prepare food for me.  He stands behind his toy box and uses it as a counter.  Today he asked me for my order, which he normally prepares promptly.

Me: Can I have some strawberries?

Logan: No

Me:  How about bananas?

Logan: I don't have any.

Me: Do you have any apples?

Logan: I don't have those either.

Me: Pizza?

Logan: No pizza.

Me: What can you make for me?

Logan: Coconut Extract

Me: Smile.  

What a well-trained child.  In two short years he has learned the secret of a gourmet chef!

Who Said Two is Terrible?

Logan loves kangaroos.  Sometimes he asks if he can sit in my pouch.  That means he wants me to sit cross legged and let him sit on my lap.

When I do something he wants me to do he smiles and says, "Yes!  Good job!"

Sometimes he makes up words and asks me to repeat them syllable by syllable.  He always praises me after I repeat them correctly.

He is "reading books" to himself and to me.  He has the text memorized in some of his books, which he recites.  In others, he makes up the story as he goes along.  Even if he is saying "made up" words, he still says them slowly and pretends to sound them out.

He is also still calling Santa Claus, Noah.  I just can't correct it.  I love it.

By Request

Some of you have asked that I post the reasons why I didn't like Where the Wild Things Are.  To be clear, I think it would be a fine movie for adults to see.  I may have enjoyed it more if I hadn't seen it with Logan.  It was free from language/sex.  There were a few intense emotional scenes but no violence.  My main problem was that it was marketed as a children's movie, but it did not appeal to children.

Here it is in short:

1.  It was very gloomy.  There are very few laughs.

2.  The movie is about everyone's "issues".  Max and the Wild Things and everyone else all have "issues".

3.  Out of control behavior from children is presented as acceptable.

4.  There are some dark intense scenes that are frightening for young children.  We took Logan out for part of the movie.

If anyone has seen it and has an opinion to share, I would love to hear it.

Do Yourself a Favor

Don't bother going to see this one with your kids.  We saw the movie last night.  I won't subject you to the oration my family had to listen to about all of the reasons why.  If you insist on seeing it, wait until it comes out in the Redbox.

More Love and Logic

Another jewel from my studying this week:

Parents of young children should allow them to make mistakes and learn from them.  Every mistake is an opportunity to learn.  The price tag of learning from mistakes made by a three year old, is much lower than the price tag of learning paid by a 20 year old.  

Comment of the Day

Today we were walking through Lowe's.  Logan saw a huge blow up statue of Santa and Mrs. Claus.  He became very excited and said, "Look, there is Noah and his sister!"

Runner up comment of the day:

"Mom, my nose smells runny."

Love and Logic by Jim Faye

Have you read this book before?  The version for teachers was one of my favorites when I was in the classroom.  I'm now reading the early childhood book as a mom.  The principles taught are so helpful.  My reading came just in time for some of the "negotiations" (i.e. tantrums) Logan likes to put forth.

Here are a few principles from this week's reading:

1.  Even though children don't act like they want boundaries and limits, they do.  Boundaries and limits make children feel safe.

2.  Give children lots of choices about little things that you don't care about.  When they are sharing in the decision making on the little things, it helps them be willing to comply on the big things.  Below are a few of the choices Logan has been making.  I have been giving him dozens of choices each day.  Even though if feels silly to me, he loves it.

-Would you like to read one story before bed, or two?

-Would you like to wear your basketball shirt or your dinosaur shirt?

-Do you want to get out of the bath right now, or in 5 minutes?

-Do you want to eat apples or cantaloupe  with your lunch?

3.  Show empathy.  When they make a bad choice and get a consequence, let them know that it is a sad thing.  No need to get angry (sometimes very difficult).  Each time I have administered a consequence this week I give him a hug and say, "This is so sad."  The authors suggest using the same phrase each time a consequence is administered.

4.  Let consequences teach, not words.  If they are making a mess with their food, take the food.  If they hit someone with a toy, take the toy.  If they are climbing up the stairs when they have been asked not to, move them to a place where they can't go up the stairs.  Consequences are more effective than reminders, scolding, and lectures.

More to come...

Calming

We head up to the mountains to find water when we can.  There is something peaceful about sitting by a river.

Summertime at Our House

Every morning when Logan wakes up he says, "Is it summertime?" He has summertime and morning mixed up.

We have loved this summer. I'll be sad when autumn comes and I'll have to explain that it is no longer summertime every morning when he wakes up.

Peeking through the corn stalks

Loving the apple tree

Eating corn on the cob for breakfast

Playing in the ditch out back

Homemade Granola Recipe

5 C rolled oats
½ wheat germ
½ cup sesame seeds (could substitute sunflower seeds or flax seeds)
1 cup chopped nuts (optional… I like almonds)
1 cup shredded coconut (please don’t offend me by leaving this out, it is the best part… however, you could use chopped apples, dates, raisins, or some other granolaish thing, if you must)
1 tsp coconut extract (not necessary, but extra yummy… maple extract is also tasty)
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp vanilla
1/3 cup oil
½ cup melted butter or margarine (you could use all oil if you are trying to be healthy… I like the butter though)
¾ cup brown sugar
½ cup honey

Mix all ingredients together. Spread evenly onto a greased cookie sheet (or several cookie sheets). Place on center racks of your oven. Cook overnight at 170 degrees. Crumble into airtight containers. Sometimes I mix the granola with Cheerios or grape nuts to make it go farther.

Enjoy!

When We Picked this Cabbage,

Logan cried. These basketball sized vegetables have become his favorite plants in the garden. He begged me not to kill it. I had to explain that we grew the cabbages so we could eat them. I told him I would take his picture, and he could help me make a salad that we could share with our neighbors.

He felt better.

This Weekend I Was Out With These Hot Ladies

...at the Shakespearean Festival. Please go see Secret Garden if you get the chance. We also loved Comedy of Errors and As You Like It. Some weekends you need to go out with the girls and laugh until you pee your pants.

Lessons From the Garden

It is a tough time to raise kids.  I worry about Logan falling into the traps of entitlement and laziness.  I worry that he will be disrespectful.  I am working hard to combat these vices that have unfortunately become the socially acceptable norm.  Even though he is little, I believe that now is the time to really begin teaching him to be respectful, hard-working, and grateful.  

This summer he and I have worked hard growing a beautiful garden.  It has taken us out of stores, away from the screen, and away from the battles being inside brings.  After months of tilling, weeding, watering, mulching, thinning, and transplanting, we are finally picking.  If anyone comes to visit, Logan wants to take them out to see our garden to show them the vegetables he has grown.  Even though I could have completed the necessary tasks much more quickly if I had done them alone while he played, I'm glad I let him help.  He pushed most of the seeds in the ground himself.  He spread the mulch.  He even knows how to tell the difference between the weeds and the plants.  I hope that learning the Law of the Harvest while he is young helps him do more than just plant gardens one day.

Pics I Should Have Posted, but Didn't

These are from our excursion to New Mexico. 

Concerning Trend

I'm working as a mentor for college students in an online university.  I love what I do.  After several months of interacting with students, I have noticed an interesting trend.  Not many people do what they say they are going to do.  Of the 90+ students I work with, I would say I can count on less than 20% of them to consistently keep the commitments they make to themselves regarding their progress at the University.  It is a sad truth that many people are willing to betray themselves.  When considering trust, it is important to have others trust you.  It is perhaps more important to be able to trust yourself.  More and more it seems acceptable in our society to say what we think we should, or what sounds nice, regardless of what we actually intend to do.  Even in cases when the right intentions are there, so often the discipline to keep our word is not.  

Happy Birthday to Me

For my 27th birthday I went to a fantastic little pizza joint with one of my favorite people.  Girls night is such a wonderful thing.  Thanks for the fun Marissa!

Please Allow Logan to Give You a Tour of our New Backyard

Welcome to our new yard!

We have lots of potato bugs and ants under rocks.

This is our shed.  It is where I keep my tools.

This is a little running path.

This is an old pole I found in the bushes.  It is good for lots of things.

Here is my garden.  Mommy helped me plant it.  

This is my little river.  I find things in it.  

I like to play in the water.  I'm usually muddy by 8 am.

We have lots of plants.  

This is my raspberry patch.  

Caving Through the Eyes of a Child

Logan and I came to New Mexico to visit some of our favorite people. We had the pleasure of visiting Carlsbad Caverns this week. I kept telling Logan that we were going to visit the caverns, which he insisted on calling "caberns". When we entered the cave and he saw all of the big stalagtites hanging down from the ceiling, he looked up at me with concern and said,

"Mommy, the caberns are biting us."

I May Be Jumping the Gun,

but I'm fairly concerned that Logan is color blind. He has learned so many concepts with ease, that I may be expecting too much of him. He speaks very clearly in complete sentences (all day long), can name his shapes, animals, numbers, and even recognize some small sight words. He shows no promise of recognizing his colors though.

When did your kids learn colors?

Logan's Mothers Day Greeting

Me: "Good morning Logan."

Logan: " Mommy, can I have a treat since it is Happy Mothers Day?"

Thanks to my Wonderful Sister in Law

for documenting our weekend Easter fun. You saved me an hour. For the latest update on my life, please see the post from 4/14 on lifeupstream.blogspot.com. Please pay particular attention to the pinata story. I'm sure Logan will look back on it as one of the traumatic events of his childhood.

Wisdom From a 17 Year Old in Rehab

I am a math tutor. Several of my clients are boys at a drug rehab center who contracts me out. I spend a great deal of time with these boys, one on one, replacing the curriculum they lost (usually grades 4-9) while they were doing drugs. Most of them grew up in very wealthy homes. Some of their parents funded their addictions. My observations over the past 2.5 years have been that this center does an excellent job helping these boys move out of very destructive patterns into lives of recovery. Most of them never go home permanantly. They stay in treatment until they move into another program that helps them transition into adulthood. I have seen many success stories.

Currently, I am working with a boy who has been in recovery for about 1.5 years. I have been tutoring him for almost a year of that time. He has become a very responsible, considerate, honest, hard-working boy. His transformation has been remarkable.

This morning I asked him what advice he had for a mother of a young boy. He told me he thought I was smart to ask him, because he knows so much about what can really harm kids. He opened up to me about some of his life experiences. He told me about selling drugs, committing violent acts with skinheads, and being beaten nearly to death. He told me about being kicked out and living on the streets of a huge urban city during a very cold winter. He told me about being arrested more than 20 times. He told me about driving drunk. As he told me these devastating experiences, I could see the sorrow in his eyes. Not sorrow for himself, but regret for the sorrow he has caused. He told me that one of the horrors he has to deal with daily is that he has done so much to hurt so many, and he has no way to fix it all. Perhaps the most painful memories of all were those he told me the pain he caused his family.

While he blames no one but himself for the choices he has made, he did talk to me about some of the factors that he felt influenced him. He told me that he had access to money without being required to work. He told me that when parents think they are helping their kids by giving them everything they want, they are actually hurting them. Kids don't need stuff. Kids need boundaries. He told me that now that he has boundaries, he feels safe. Parents have more influence than they think. He believes that privileges should always be tied to appropriate behavior. When behavior is inappropriate, all privileges should be taken. He also said that sometimes (especially when kids are older) their parents have to accept that they can't control them anymore, and they need to let their kids bottom out, and accept that it is not their fault. He told me about hitting bottom. He said it was one of the best things that ever happened to him. It gave him the desire to change.

When I have tutoring sessions like today, I feel like I'm the one learning the more important lessons.

Still Working on These Names with Logan

Gasoline

Goliath

Peter (not to be confused with his cousin and playmate)

Quotes from Logan's 2nd Birthday

Daddy, tell me bout your day.

Can I bite your sandwich?

Sing Happy Birthday one more time. (Sing) Sing Happy Birthday one more time. (Sing) Sing Happy Birthday one more time. (Sing) Now sing about froggies.

Hey, help me with this. This is hard. It is hard to do this. Help. (Putting on shoes)

See what happens? (Amazed at his new magnets)

Can I read the book to ya?

I can do it all by myself. (Taking paper off birthday cupcake)

The lizard don't eat my gum. (Toy lizard apparently isn't a significant threat to gum chewing)

Here's a blanket for ya... can I have that blanket? Oh, we're sharing!

Can I blow on it for ya? (My pasta)

Can I hold you? (Wants me to pick him up)

I reply: Logan, you're getting too big.

He replies: I'm so tiny.

Where's more candies? I eat em all gone.

(Handing him a glass to drink out of) You have to be soooooo careful.

Mommy, read me this book.

Reply: Logan, this kind of book is a calendar.

Logan: No it's not.

Daddy, can I have a piece of gum.

Reply: I don't have any gum.

Logan: Maybe in your car?

The Best Present I Ever Gave Myself

As We Suffer Through the Last Few Weeks of Winter...

we are fondly remembering our beach trip  (of which I never posted pics).  Hopefully our happy memories will help us endure.

Apparently Logan Likes Mangy

A couple of nights ago I slept with wet hair. It was a mess when I woke up. I walked into Logan's room when I heard him stirring. He opened his eyes and looked up at me with a curious expression and said,

"Your hair looks good Mom."

Big Boy Bed

I guess my mom got tired of me resisting my little one growing up.  One night while I was away she had my step-dad convert Logan's crib into a toddler bed.  Needless to say, Logan is thrilled.  He is actually doing much better staying in his room.  Every night when he climbs into bed he says, "Grandpa fixed it for me!"

Thanks Grandma and Grandpa.

Here's to Brave Moms Everywhere

I spent the day with my friend Lilli and her two little ones. Her three year old Grace did not eat her lunch. Lilli told her that if she chose not to eat her lunch she would not be able to eat any snacks until dinner.

A couple of hours later we decided to take the kids to Arctic Circle to have ice cream and play. In the craziness of the afternoon, Lilli (and I) forgot about the promised lunch consequence. After ordering our treats, Lilli remembered. Instead of going back on her word, she chose the hard road of calmly and kindly telling Grace that she could play on the equipment, but she couldn't have any icecream because she chose not to eat her lunch. Grace wailed and cried. She even exclaimed through tears, "I just can't believe it!" Lilli persevered through the embarrasing display. The kind employees at Arctic Circle even came into the play area twice to offer courtesy cones in hopes to help calm Grace. After a few minutes, she resumed playing. This was a small victory in teaching Grace that our choices carry consequences. When we make a choice, we had better make sure we want what comes with it.

I admire parents who choose to be conisitent and do what they say they are going to do. This builds trust and enstills a sense of security in children. Children who can trust that their parents words and behavior will match feel safe. How wonderful to learn important life lessons when you are three years old in Arctic Circle rather than when you are an adult, and there is much more at stake.

Pics at the Park