Don't tell your children they ARE what you do not want them to BE.
Logan is only one, but he understands a great deal of what I say. He hears me talk about him. Today I caught myself saying how much he doesn't like wearing shoes. That will do nothing but exaggerate the problem. If it doesn't exaggerate it, it certainly can't help. If children have qualities that you do not think are desirable, work on them instead of constantly stating them in front of your child.
This truth was so evident in my classroom. Whenever I had a parent come in with their child on the first day of school to tell me how bad of a student they were, or how they never kept their desk cleaned out, I cringed! Children believe the things we tell them about themselves. It is important to be positive whenever possible. It is also important to correct and train. That can usually be accomplished without negative criticism.
I have learned a lot of great lessons from my own childhood and from my classroom, but sometimes it is still difficult to implement the them with Logan. If any of you catch me not taking my own advice, let me know.
8 comments:
I know exactly what you mean! I could never see myself doing this, but Nick and I now have to spell certain words to each other (especially "snack" and "treat")because Owen really picks up on what we are talking about, especially when it's about him.
Amen, sister! I found this is especially true with toddlers. If my little girl starts acting up, I sit her down and tell her what a good little girl she is and how much I love it when she obeys. Like magic, she begins to obey. Thanks for the post!
your mom was my favorite teacher. she always knew what i needed... encouragment. i was told by family when i was young that i wasnt good at math but your mom made me feel differently. does she still teach? if the apple didnt fall far from the tree, you too are an amazing teacher. please dont grade my english :) i am horrible :) i love reading your advise. I hope the whole "blog" thing will still be around by the time i have kids. if not, i will have to hunt you down and beg you to write a book or something.
Once again...great advise. I think I need to watch what I call Max. I would hate for him to really turn into a real stinker :) ha ha!
I finally sent you the pics from Saturday. Sorry it took so long :).
Your mama is a wise one :).
I finally made it to your blog! I totally agree with this wisdom. I realized that when Aspen wasn't listening, we were saying in a warning voice, "Aspen, you're not listening." I've tried to change that to something like, "Aspen, you are always such a good listener." Our children do listen to EVERYTHING we say.
By the way, I love all pictures of the places you and Topher have visted.
Thank you so much for being so wise and for posting such important information and reminders in your blogs. I've been quite critical lately, and forget to keep my mouth shut or at least more positive around little ears. I wish I could take a parenting class because I keep making mistakes that should be obvious. Anyway, thanks for your motivation. Love you.
Once my dad took me to help do some yardwork for a neighbor. I was helping to dig a pit, and my dad bragged about me, "Mark can dig a hole like nobody's business." I still remember it almost 20 years later, and I am still proud. So the opposite is true too. Let you children hear how and why you are proud of them.
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