Bye Bye Baby Bink

I took Logan's binki away.  No matter how much I want him to stay a little baby, he isn't one.  He is a walking talking little boy.  It was time.  The first nap was dreadful. The first night was a little bit rough.  I let him cry through his wake-ups.  Last night he didn't wake up at all, and he went right down for his nap today.  I imagine if I had waited too much longer it would have been more of a struggle.  He still gets his bottles before sleeping.  I decided on a slow transition to sippie cups over the next few months. 

It is a little bit of a sad day for mama.  Days are passing more quickly than I would like them to.

Right before I had Logan, a beautiful white-haired grandmother who I didn't know came up to me and put her arm around me.  She asked when my baby was due.  I told her, and I will never forget her reply.  With all of the love and wisdom that she had she said, "These are the glory days.  Enjoy every minute of them.  One day you will wish you could return to this time of your life."  It was a little miracle for me.  I was feeling some concern and anxiety about my new undertaking and the changes it required.  I hope I never forget her wise advice.

Near Death Experience

I have been very disciplined regarding my eating and exercise recently.  Sufficed to say, I had some difficult health problems after Logan was born that prevented me from returning to my normal exercise routine as quickly as I would have liked.  Thanks to a good surgeon, I'm doing much better now.  Although I lost all of the baby weight quite some time ago, I have needed to strengthen my muscles again.  I've been working hard at it.  I have filled my house with nutrient rich foods, and spent 1-2 hours a day exercising.  My good friend Lilli has been very supportive.  She told me the other day she was enjoying an amazing piece of cheesecake, and as good friends do, she wanted to share her experience with me.  She decided not to bring me any.  I appreciated her exercising that control, because I may not have been able to.

Yesterday I spent the day at her house watching her girls.  She was gone.  Necessity required me to get in her pantry several times.  There on the second shelf from the top, right at eye level was a box of Samoa girl scout cookies.  All throughout the day my mouth watered and longed for the cookies.  The toasted coconut, carmel, and chocolate treats were almost too much to resist.  By 3:00 the cravings were so bad that I hid the cookies behind a box of Triscuts so I wouldn't have to see them while rummaging around for animal crackers and goldfish.

I'm proud to announce that I did not succumb.  This morning my weekly weigh in showed another 3 lbs. lost (that is 10 total in five weeks).   The happiness I felt this morning was worth all of the suffering of yesterday.

Lilli, please eat your cookies, feed them to your children, or hide them somewhere in your house before I come over again.  I don't know if I can handle the torture.

Beans and Brews is Much Better than Starbucks

Yum, yum, yum! Last night two of my girlfriends and I went out after our little ones went to bed for some hot chocolate and a chat (a wonderful ritual which I highly recommend). We decided to go to Beans and Brews instead of Starbucks. We paid a bit more for our warm steamy beverages, but it was totally worth it. I'm really into flavors in my chocolate. They had about 20 different syrups to choose from (Starbucks only has about 7). A few of the most fantastic were coconut, carmel pecan, toasted marshmallow, almond toffee, and macadamian nut. They also had lots of fruity syrups like passion fruit, boysenberry, and banana which they told us make very tasty italian sodas. I tried macadamian nut. I'm really trying to be cautious about my portions and sweets right now, so I ordered a small, skipped the cream, and had them use skim milk. It was still wonderful. I was still thinking about it when I woke up this morning.

Take a girlfriend out for a relaxing treat. Unless of course my husband is reading this. Then take me.

School Board Meeting

Last night I attended a meeting where all of the candidates running for the school board spoke to parents and educators.  Sadly, there weren't very many people there.  People expect so much from the school system, but often they aren't willing to involve themselves politically or volunteer in their kid's classrooms.  So often my friends express concern over their children and the declining school system.  This is what I tell them.

1.  There are lots of great teachers still in the public system.  Be involved.  Know the teachers at your school.  Spend time volunteering.  You can always call the school and tell them you would like to volunteer once a day/week/month.  Ask them how you can help.  If you are a friend to the teachers, office employees, and administrators, it is likely that you can gently pull strings for your own children when it comes time to place them in classes.

2.  If you are awful (back-stabbing, demanding, intrusive, insulting) to a teacher - regardless of what they've done, your child suffers.  Some teachers take out their frustration on the kids.  As a teacher when I had a threatening parent I handled it by telling them what they wanted to hear so they would leave me alone.  I kept a positive, low-key relationship.  I disconnected to a degree from their child.  I had to.  Teachers have to protect themselves too. There is no reason to involve a parent and be honest with them, if all they are going to do is create problems for you and the student.  You may be saying, "Oh, I would never be that way!"  You'd be surprised how many parents are.

3.  If you have a problem with something that is going on in your child's classroom, calmly go to the teacher.  Do not run to the district or principal first.  If you have already worked with the teacher and you can see that they are not able to solve it, then you can go to administrators.  

4.  Do not assume that everything your seven-year-old (or fifteen-year-old) tells you is accurate!  Their perceptions are often not actual, and even more often they are telling a story to keep themselves out of trouble ("I promise I turned that in!  My teacher lost it." "I don't have any homework." "Jimmy hit me and I didn't do ANYTHING to him." Sometimes these statements are true, and sometimes they aren't.).  Check their story out before you get all wrapped up around the axle.  Most teachers want to listen to parents, solve problems, and help their students have a great experience.  I appreciated calls from parents when their children were having trouble on the playground, didn't understand concepts, or were having problems at home.  I always addressed their concerns.  Most teachers do.  

5. If your child gets a consequence for doing something wrong, they probably deserve it.  If you have a real concern, calmly talk to the teacher.  Again, don't assume what your child is telling you is completely accurate until you have checked out their story.

6.  Be at the school.  Help.  Spend time in the classroom.  Attend events.  Pay your PTA dues (they are cheap).  They really help if everyone participates.

7.  Express gratitude.  Most teachers are working so hard.  They receive so little in return.  I still keep the heartfelt cards parents wrote to me thanking me.  Don't just do it on Christmas.  Your child will benefit so much if you work to develop a positive relationship with their teacher!

8.  Children adopt the attitudes of their parents and other adults they are around.  Even if you don't agree with everything that your child's teacher does, do not talk poorly about them in front of your child!  Be supportive.  Even if your child is having a tough year, talk to them about what they can learn from their experience.  Being negative only makes a bad situation worse.

9.  Do not tell your children that you are "bad" at subjects and that is why they are "bad" at them too.  Do not tell your child's teacher on the first day of school all of the rotten experiences your child has had in the past - especially in front of the child.  Even if you feel that way, be positive and encouraging for your child's sake.  Miracles can happen in classrooms.  Children can change when they are in a warm, safe, structured environment.  Let them start each year with a fresh start.

10.  Educate yourself.  Go to the source.  Attend political and board meetings if you can. Your neighbors are not always an accurate source of information.  Be an active, voting, citizen who supports our public schools.  Teach your children to give educators the respect they deserve.

Get This Stuff and Sunscreen

I decided last year that I wanted to have great skin when I'm 50+ more than I want a tan when I'm 25.  I wear a tinted moisturizer on my face and a little bronzer.  Three or four times a week (after shaving) I use Jergens Natural glow for medium skin.  It is fabulous!  You can't tell a difference for about a week, but after that it gradually, evenly, darkens your skin.  The color on my skin is very natural looking (no orange streaks).  The kind that is also firming doesn't really firm, but it does smell really good.  I'll let you know in 30 years if it was worth it.  

Gratitudes

This list is not comprehensive, nor is it in any particular order.  These are just a few things I have been thankful for recently.  I tag Boo, Lilli, and Liz.

1.  Health  - I suppose God gives us things to suffer through so we appreciate all of the things that are in good working order.  Bodies are a miracle.

2.  A warm safe place to live - We recently invited a neighbor over who grew up in post-World War 2 Eastern Germany.  Among other things, he told us about his father being captured and killed by Stalin's army while traveling home after the war ended, eating grass to survive in a city that was 90% destroyed, and having his country taken over by communist Russia.  

3.  A husband - I'm so glad I'm not raising Logan alone, and that Topher is my best friend.

4.  My mom - She has taught me to be strong, to take care of others, and to take care of myself.

5.  The Office - I need to laugh until I cry once a week.  

6.  Good neighbors - I have the best neighbors.

7.  Mangoes - I just ate one.  They are so good.  Logan likes sucking on the pits.  They remind me of living in Fiji.

8.  College - I learned a lot more than how to become a teacher.  The life lessons I learned were crucial to my success as a wife, mother, and friend.  I'm grateful for the people God placed in my path who taught me to be a better person.

9.  Sunday - I love going to church, and being home with Topher and Logan.  I love turning off the T.V. and radio and having a peaceful day.  I love playing games with Topher while Logan takes his morning nap.

10.  Spring - No explanation necessary.

Helper

I was wiping up the floor under Logan's high chair the other day.  The phone rang and I left the rag on the floor I had been using.  When I returned I found Logan finishing my job.

Little Reader

Logan and I have a morning ritual of reading together.  I prefer reading in the morning and when he wakes up from naps as opposed to bedtime.  He is much more interactive and attentive when he is not exhausted.  

This morning Logan pointed to the fish when I asked him where it was.  He also pointed to a ball in the book and said ball.  For a teacher who is familiar with the developmental stages children go through as readers, this was a big day.  I was more excited this morning when he pointed at the fish than when he took his first steps.   I love watching Logan learn new things.

Playing at the Lake

We spent Saturday at the fishing pond behind our house in celebration of the warm weather.  Logan ate cherry tomatoes and played with rocks.  Grandma and a few cousins came along. 

                                            Yeah for Spring!
Grandma came along to play with Logan.  He loves her and all of the little toys she finds for him.
Thanks for the cute flip flops Aunt Boo.  I especially like the color!  -Logan
Here is Logan using his new sliding skills (see former post)  at the park later that day.  He climbed up the steps and slid down the big kid curly slide all by himself.
 

Swimming with Grace

It was my friend's daughter's birthday last week.  We went swimming with them at our community swimming pool.  Everyone had fun, but no one had as much fun as Logan.  He discovered that he could slide down the dinosaur slide all by himself.  He climbed up the stairs in the back, flipped on his tummy, and slid into the pool over and over again.  I don't know very many 13 month old children, but I assume most of them don't do things like that all by themselves.  It is time for swimming lessons this summer.

How Cute is He? Here's Baby Toph

                                      
                                                        
                                                     
                                                    

What is Wrong With This Picture?

A good friend of mine just emailed me and told me he is running for the school board.  He asked me for some of my opinions about education and problems teachers are facing.  I thought I'd share.

1. Who are we expecting to lure into this profession when we are only willing to pay our teachers $25,000 a year? I made more money as a waitress working part time in college than I did when I started teaching. We lose the stability of the system when we don't choose to pay for career minded professionals who will remain in their jobs for more than 2 or 3 years. This state is going to get what they pay for unless our government leaders and tax payers are willing to make drastic changes. Funds need to be re-distributed first. Clean house!!!  Lots of money is wasted in education.

2. 30+ kids is too many. Fewer than 25 in upper grades and fewer than 20 in lower grades is much more manageable and allows children access to their teacher.

3. Many administrators impede teachers and kids, particularly at the district level.  A good administrator will remove burdens from teachers and make resources available to them, not make more policies, call more meetings, and create more hoops to jump through.  I worked for a principal who was highly effective.  There was a feeling of loyalty at our school.  Teachers were motivated and willing to work hard.  Sadly, this scenario is often the exception, not the rule.

4. Focusing on standardized tests as the only important outcome of the school system is dumbing down our kids.  Teaching is an art.  Great teachers can impact children in ways that standardized tests can't measure.

5. Get rid of teachers who are ineffective. Why is it so hard to fire them? They transfer them from school to school and then put them in the district office when they have finally caused too much trouble. No wonder the whole place has gone to pot!

6. Good teachers can manage themselves, their classrooms, and their resources much better than someone else can micromanage it for them. Sadly, there is so much top-down control that good teachers are impeded.

7. The closer resources are to the kids, the more they benefit.  Get the resources to the teachers.  So much is lost when out of touch employees at the district are given all of the power to make decisions about the distribution of funds.  

8. Why aren't our parents held more accountable?  Sadly, if a child was never nurtured, played with, read to, or talked to when they were 0-5, the schools can't help much when they're 5-18.  Too many parents are passing the buck!  

9.  Where are the incentives for our great teachers?  Unfortunately, they are often punished for doing a great job with harder classes, more out of the classroom responsibilities, and tougher parents.  

10.  Kids who create problems need consequences.  Boundaries make children feel safe.  Irrational parents should not be able to remove the consequences of their children's choices.

Oh... the list could go on and on.  There are still so many wonderful educators in the system.  We need to work on keeping them, and adding more to their ranks.  Tell a teacher thanks today!  

Wisdom From Someone Smarter Than Me

We attended a marriage seminar shortly after Logan was born. It was timely considering our new life as parents was drastically different from our former life of do whatever you want whenever you want newlyweds. We waited a few years after marrying to have children. I'm grateful for the time we had to build a strong foundation together. It helped me accept the changes parenthood requires much more easily.
I don't remember the guy's name who gave the seminar, but I remember some of the things he said. I took notes on a carbon copy from my check book, and I still keep it in my wallet to refer to occasionally.

Two points he made were particularly interesting and helpful:

Marriage is comprised of three stages-
1. Yearning (usually lasts about 3 years characterized by high chemicals and low clarity)
2. Earning (the long haul in the middle characterized by low chemicals and high clarity)
3. Enduring Love (earned through service, kindness, and patience throughout the other two stages)

The things we consider problems in our marriages are usually not the problem (Too many sports, money, not helping pick up socks, leaving curlers out on the bathroom counter, etc...). The foundation of most problems we face are rooted a lack of one or more of the following.

Safety
Trust
Appreciation
Respect
Validation
Encouragement

Dedication

STARVED is the acronym that helps us remember these 7 human needs. Sometimes I ask Topher for a "revealation". That allows him to tell me when I'm not meeting a need. It has been helpful for us.

Why I Love Topher

1.  He is humble.  It is a rare quality among men.

2.  He forgives me when I do dumb things.  

3.  He makes me laugh hard.

4.  He is always willing to step in and take over when I need "me" time.  

5.  He is a loving daddy.

6.  He always takes out the garbage... a chore I deplore.

7.  He is willing to change.

8.  He is patient.

9.  He provides well for our family, so I can stay home with Logan.

10. Sometimes he brings me Starbucks hot chocolate in the morning.

11. He gets me flowers for no reason.

12. He supports me in my interests.

13. He listens to me.

14. He has excellent social skills.

15. He has pure motives.

16. He enjoys little things.

17. He always wants "one more minute" with Logan and me.

18. He cultivates relationships with people.

19. Sometimes when I'm lucky he'll split a meal with me when we go out to eat.

20. He is strong.

21. He is extremely intelligent.  When I married him his mom told me I was marrying one of her two brilliant children (she has 9).  I didn't believe her.  Now I do.

22. He gives appropriate emotional reactions when I have been working on a project and I need some praise.

23. He dances with me whenever he wants to.  It doesn't matter if music is playing.

24. He loves going on trips and making memories.

25. He still takes me on dates weekly.

Food Storage

This information might be helpful to anyone trying to store food.  I used to teach food storage classes when I was a Bosch girl.  

1. Did you know that the church will ship food storage to your house.  I just ordered about $200 worth of beans, rice, oats, and wheat.  They dropped it off on my front porch.  You can also pick food storage up and the cannery centers.  

2.  The current recommendation from church leaders is to have 3 months supply of food/supplies in your house that you eat and rotate regularly, and to have 1 year supply of food that will keep you alive.  

3.  Along with beans, rice, and wheat it is also important to store fats in your one year supply.  Oils that are more highly processed have a longer shelf life (vegetable oil, corn oil, shortening).  I keep 3-5 month supply of canola and olive oil that I rotate, and a larger supply of highly processed oils.   In addition to the above mentioned I store sugar, honey, leavening agents (baking soda and powder, and yeast in the freezer), and some spices. 

4.  If you have a year supply of wheat stored, but no wheat grinder, you're not going to be able to use the wheat unless you like cracked wheat cereal (wheat can be cracked in a blender, or with a rock on the sidewalk).

5.  One year supply of grains for an adult is 300 lbs.

6.  The recommended water storage is 1 gal. per person per day for 2 weeks.

7.  Gamma seal lids are great for storing and rotating food storage.  They go on a 4.25 or 6 gal bucket and the lid screws on and off.  They come in different colors.  I have a bucket for my rice, flour, sugar, wheat, beans, and popcorn.  

8.  Try living on only the things you have in  your house for one month.  See how it goes.  It helps you see what you need.

9.  If it feels overwhelming to store all of this stuff, just start with one extra thing each time you go to the store.

10.  For more tips check out lds.org.

Opinions Please

Tonight I cooked dinner for 10.  I invited some of our new neighbors over.  They didn't show up (at least they haven't yet, it has been over an hour).  I couldn't get ahold of them by phone, and I don't know which house they live in (I just met them at church).  

My question is this... What time should you clean up dinner if your guests are late?  Also, what should you say to them next time you see them?  Anything?  I certainly don't want to make them feel bad.  My objective in inviting neighbors over in the first place is to make them feel welcome and loved.

We have guests over at least three or four times a month.  I would say at least once every two months someone is exceedingly late without a phone call (more than 30 min. sometimes 45+).  It usually upsets me since I go to lots of work to have a yummy dinner prepared on time.  Anyone who cooks knows that when dinner is ready you want it eaten hot.  As time passes the quality of the dinner generally declines.

Anyone who wants chicken and dumplings, spinach salad, or angel food cake and strawberries is welcome to drop by tonight or tomorrow.  I have a fridge full.

Favorite Children's Authors/Books

This post is a request from a college roomie.  These are a few of my favorite children's books and authors.  These are picutre books only.  I'll work on children's non-fiction books and some great chapter books.  Happy reading.

1.  Mercer Mayer - It is fun to have kids look for the grasshopper and the spider on every page of his little critter books.  My personal favorite of his is There's a Nightmare in my Closet.

2.  Eric Carle - I love The Very Hungry Caterpillar.  He has lots of great books that teach children about natural processes (seeds growing, caterpillars changing to butterflies, etc.)

3.  Leo Leoni - Most of his books are about animals.  I love Swimmy and Fredrick.

4.  Maurice Sendak - Where the Wild Things Are is a must!

5.  Kevin Henkes - He writes lots of great books about interpersonal relationships.  One of my favorites is Julius the Baby of the World which is about girl getting a little brother.

6.  Chris Van Allsburg - He wrote Polar Express and my favorite The Wretched Stone, a fabulous allegory about one of our societies damaging habits.  Check out his website for background info on his books.

7.  Dr. Seuss - Logan was born on his birthday.  He is probably my favorite of all time!  His books are all winners.  My favorite is Horton Hatches the Egg.  There are so many great lessons to be learned from his books.  

8.  Bernard Waber - Check out Ira Sleeps Over.  It is a great one to read out loud.

9.  Shel Silverstein - He writes poetry.  Where the Sidewalk Ends is my favorite collection.  

10. Patricia Polacco - She is fabulous!  I love Pink and Say about a confederate and union soldier in the Civil War.  These are great for kids who are a little bit older (upper elementary).

Tag from Mrs. B

4 Jobs I've Had

1.  Cooking instructor

2.  Waitress at a Mexican Restaurant

3.  5th grade teacher at a private school in Fiji

4.  6th grade teacher in Utah

4 Movies I've Watched More than Once

1.  Princess Bride

2.  American Outlaws

3.  Sahara 

4.  All 3 Shreks (My hubbie loves them.)

4 Places I've Lived

1.  Utah

2.  California

3.  Fiji

4.  No more places... sorry there aren't four

4 TV Shows I Watch

1.  American Idol

2.  The Office

3.  Oprah

4.  The News

4 Places I've Been

1.  Mexican Riviera

2.  The Caribbean

3.  New Zealand 

4.  Eastern U.S. tour (I love Virginia and Pennsylvania the most)

4 of my Favorite Foods

1.  Hawaiian Pizza

2.  Filet Mingon 

3.  Macaroni Grill Honey Balsamic Chicken

4.  Coconut anything

4 Places I'd Rather Be

1.  Fiji

2.  On a cruise (anywhere warm is fine)

3.  Leo Carillo Beach with my family

4.  In bed with a good book and rice bags to keep my feet warm

4 Things I'm Looking Forward to this Year

1.  Watching Logan keep learning new things

2.  My cruise this fall

3.  Summer

4.  Camping in Yellowstone

4 People I Tag

1.  Topher

2.  Lilli

3.  Boo

4.  Lizzie

Diaper Search

I'm looking for suggestions from fellow moms (and dads if you happen to be a frequent diaper changer).  Does anyone have my problem?  My son blows out his diapers several times a week.  He eats lots.  He poops lots.  At least one in four poopy diapers require a bath, spray n' wash, and a new outfit.  Things have gotten a little better since I put him in size 5.  We're using Huggies.  I think something with more elasticity would be good - especially around his little chubby legs.  Recommendations?