School Board Meeting

Last night I attended a meeting where all of the candidates running for the school board spoke to parents and educators.  Sadly, there weren't very many people there.  People expect so much from the school system, but often they aren't willing to involve themselves politically or volunteer in their kid's classrooms.  So often my friends express concern over their children and the declining school system.  This is what I tell them.

1.  There are lots of great teachers still in the public system.  Be involved.  Know the teachers at your school.  Spend time volunteering.  You can always call the school and tell them you would like to volunteer once a day/week/month.  Ask them how you can help.  If you are a friend to the teachers, office employees, and administrators, it is likely that you can gently pull strings for your own children when it comes time to place them in classes.

2.  If you are awful (back-stabbing, demanding, intrusive, insulting) to a teacher - regardless of what they've done, your child suffers.  Some teachers take out their frustration on the kids.  As a teacher when I had a threatening parent I handled it by telling them what they wanted to hear so they would leave me alone.  I kept a positive, low-key relationship.  I disconnected to a degree from their child.  I had to.  Teachers have to protect themselves too. There is no reason to involve a parent and be honest with them, if all they are going to do is create problems for you and the student.  You may be saying, "Oh, I would never be that way!"  You'd be surprised how many parents are.

3.  If you have a problem with something that is going on in your child's classroom, calmly go to the teacher.  Do not run to the district or principal first.  If you have already worked with the teacher and you can see that they are not able to solve it, then you can go to administrators.  

4.  Do not assume that everything your seven-year-old (or fifteen-year-old) tells you is accurate!  Their perceptions are often not actual, and even more often they are telling a story to keep themselves out of trouble ("I promise I turned that in!  My teacher lost it." "I don't have any homework." "Jimmy hit me and I didn't do ANYTHING to him." Sometimes these statements are true, and sometimes they aren't.).  Check their story out before you get all wrapped up around the axle.  Most teachers want to listen to parents, solve problems, and help their students have a great experience.  I appreciated calls from parents when their children were having trouble on the playground, didn't understand concepts, or were having problems at home.  I always addressed their concerns.  Most teachers do.  

5. If your child gets a consequence for doing something wrong, they probably deserve it.  If you have a real concern, calmly talk to the teacher.  Again, don't assume what your child is telling you is completely accurate until you have checked out their story.

6.  Be at the school.  Help.  Spend time in the classroom.  Attend events.  Pay your PTA dues (they are cheap).  They really help if everyone participates.

7.  Express gratitude.  Most teachers are working so hard.  They receive so little in return.  I still keep the heartfelt cards parents wrote to me thanking me.  Don't just do it on Christmas.  Your child will benefit so much if you work to develop a positive relationship with their teacher!

8.  Children adopt the attitudes of their parents and other adults they are around.  Even if you don't agree with everything that your child's teacher does, do not talk poorly about them in front of your child!  Be supportive.  Even if your child is having a tough year, talk to them about what they can learn from their experience.  Being negative only makes a bad situation worse.

9.  Do not tell your children that you are "bad" at subjects and that is why they are "bad" at them too.  Do not tell your child's teacher on the first day of school all of the rotten experiences your child has had in the past - especially in front of the child.  Even if you feel that way, be positive and encouraging for your child's sake.  Miracles can happen in classrooms.  Children can change when they are in a warm, safe, structured environment.  Let them start each year with a fresh start.

10.  Educate yourself.  Go to the source.  Attend political and board meetings if you can. Your neighbors are not always an accurate source of information.  Be an active, voting, citizen who supports our public schools.  Teach your children to give educators the respect they deserve.